Fortunes

At various times, I've posted various fortune-cookie fortunes that I find entertaining when you add ". . . in bed" to the end:

So I decided to gather all the fortunes from all those pages into one page for ease of reference. In the following list, asterisks indicate some of my favorites. (For two-sentence fortunes, usually insert "in bed" at the end of the first sentence.)

  • A beautiful, smart, and loving person will be coming into your life. (Added 1/7/2013)
  • * Be moderate where pleasure is concerned, avoid fatigue.
  • Care and attention to the key relationships in your life will pay off.
  • A cheerful message is on its way to you.
  • Concentration leads to success.
  • * Constant grinding can turn an iron rod into a needle.
  • Contentment is just around the corner for you.
  • Do something unusual tomorrow.
  • Don't ask, don't say. Everything lies in silence. (Added 1/7/2013)
  • Don't be over self-confident with your first impression of others. (Added 1/7/2013)
  • Don't be so critical and overly concerned about details.
  • A financial investment will yield returns beyond your hopes.
  • * Find the road to happiness by helping others.
  • Flowers would brighten the day of your close friend tomorrow.
  • Focus on your long-term goal. Success is soon yours! (Added 1/7/2013)
  • A four-wheeled adventure will soon bring you happiness. (Added 1/7/2013)
  • A friend or partner will be giving you needed information. Listen!
  • Friends long absent are coming back to you.
  • Good things come to those who wait. Be patient. (Added 1/7/2013)
  • The greatest mistake a man can make is to be afraid of making one. (Added 1/7/2013)
  • The great pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do.
  • Happy events will take place shortly in your home.
  • The hard times will begin to fade. Joy will take their place. (Added 1/7/2013)
  • If a true sense of value is to be yours it must come through service.
  • If you continually give you will continually have.
  • * Investigate new possibilities with friends. Now is the time!
  • It's kind of fun to do the impossible.
  • It is very possible that you will achieve greatness in your lifetime. (Added 12/24/2009)
  • Keep up the good work. You will be rewarded within the month. (Added 1/7/2013) (Another similar one: You will be rewarded for your efforts within the month.)
  • Keep your feet on the ground even though friends flatter you.
  • Learn to listen, not hear.
  • Life to you is a dashing and bold adventure.
  • Live each day as though it were your last. (Added 1/7/2013)
  • Look around; happiness is trying to catch you. (Added 9/23/2014)
  • A man's best possession is a sympathetic wife.
  • Many opportunities are open; take advantage of them! (Added 1/7/2013)
  • Many receive advice, only the wise profit by it.
  • No obstacles will stand in the way of your success this month.
  • Now is the time to call loved ones at a distance. Share your news.
  • Old friends make best friends. (Added 1/4/2020)
  • The only certainty is that nothing is certain. (Added 9/23/2014)
  • People find it difficult to resist your persuasive manner. (Added 5/30/2009)
  • The philosophy of one century is the common sense of the next.
  • A pleasant surprise is in store for you.
  • * Put the data you have uncovered to beneficial use.
  • Simplicity and clarity should be the theme in your dress. (Added 1/7/2013)
  • Simplicity of character is the natural result of profound thought.
  • Someone is interested in you. Keep your eyes open. (Added 9/23/2014)
  • Something on four wheels will soon be a fun investment for you! (Added 1/7/2013)
  • Soon you will be sitting on top of the world. (Added 1/4/2020)
  • Stepping away from the power position for one day. (Added 1/7/2013)
  • * Stop searching forever. Happiness is just next to you.
  • The strengths in your character will bring you serenity. (Added 1/7/2013)
  • There is a prospect of a thrilling time ahead for you.
  • * A thing of great beauty will bring you great joy. (Added 9/23/2014)
  • The time is right to make new friends.
  • Time is what keeps things from happening all at once.
  • Tomorrow you will find the item you have been searching for. (Added 1/7/2013)
  • Travels from nesting space will take you to a broader cultural horizon. (Added 5/30/2009)
  • Trust your hunches. They're usually based on facts filed away just below the conscious level. (Added 9/23/2014)
  • Try something new and different. You will like the results.
  • The ultimate test of a relationship is to disagree but to hold hands. (Added 1/4/2020)
  • Watch your relations with other people carefully, be reserved.
  • We find comfort among those who agree with us—growth among those who don't. (Added 9/23/2014)
  • With integrity and consistency--your credits are piling up.
  • The world is always ready to receive talent with open arms.
  • * You are always welcome in any gathering. (Added 1/7/2013)
  • You are contemplative and analytical by nature.
  • You are soon going to change your present line of work.
  • You are talented in many ways. (Added 5/20/2009)
  • You are thorough and very organized.
  • You are very expressive and positive in words, act, and feeling.
  • * You have an ambitious nature and will make a name for yourself. (Added 9/23/2014)
  • You have a potential urge and the ability for accomplishment.
  • You have an active mind and a keen imagination. (Added 5/30/2009)
  • * You have an unusual equipment for success, use it properly.
  • You have natural grace and great consideration of others. (Added 5/30/2009)
  • You have the ability to nurture and work creatively with others. (Added 5/30/2009)
  • You never hesitate to tackle the most difficult problems.
  • * You will always be surrounded by true friends. (Added 7/7/2009)
  • * You will be fortunate in everything you put your hands to.
  • You will be happily surprised by a long time friend.
  • You will be recognized and honored as a community leader.
  • You will be selected for a promotion because of your accomplishments.
  • You will be showered with good luck before your next birthday. (A separate fortune was less specific about time: it just said "You will be showered with good luck.")
  • You will be unusually successful in business.
  • You will conquer obstacles to achieve success.
  • You will enjoy razor-sharp spiritual vision today.
  • * You will get to know yourself better when you do something foolish and fun.
  • You will have good luck in business affairs.
  • You will have no problems in your home.
  • You will soon be confronted with unlimited opportunities. (Added 7/7/2009)
  • You will stumble into the happiness of your life.
  • Your greatest fortune is the large number of friends you have.
  • Your hard work is about to pay off.
  • Your home is a pleasant place from which you draw happiness.
  • Your mind is creative, original, and alert.
  • Your modesty will shame those with lesser knowledge. (Added 1/7/2013)
  • Your persistence will pay off. (Added 1/7/2013)
  • Your present plans are going to succeed.