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Doorbell rings. I answer. Tall smiling guy (maybe early 20s?, casually but neatly dressed) asks how I'm doing, tells me that his group takes "former knuckleheads" and teaches them to speak well. He hands me a laminated stack of papers with no indication of what they're about, then takes them back a moment after I've glanced at them. He tells me there's nothing to buy. He asks how he's doing with the speaking.

I say fine, but what's the company you work for? He says it's not a company, it's a group, it's called OSI, and he and his group are out going door-to-door, having a contest; he's currently in the lead because he talks so much. (I try to step in at this point to tell him that I'm familiar with these “contests” 'cause I was on a newspaper sales crew the summer before high school, but before I can turn the thought into speech, he continues.) They're supposed to present themselves well, keep their clothing neat, etc. What do I do for a living?

I, I'm sorry, I don't— I stammer out, mildly amused but not quite sure how best to get rid of him. I already had a headache and was a little disoriented, and his fast-talking has had enough of its intended effect that I can't think fast enough to keep up with this quasi-conversation we're having.

No need to be sorry, he says mildly, and by the time he's done with that sentence, he's turned and is striding off up the street.

I came back inside and Googled OSI and various relevant terms, and tentatively concluded that it stands for Outside Sales Intern. It was obvious that he was selling something, but I have no idea what.

So I'm curious: Any of you know anything about OSI in this context?

I'm guessing he was going to ask me to make a cash donation to their organization, but I'm not sure. His whole pitch was similar enough to the newspaper sales crew that he might've been selling subscriptions, but I think maybe he explicitly said there was nothing to subscribe to, I'm not sure.